1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
2
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,137
‐ Hey, Korvo, you care
if I take a Tiki nap in here?
3
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,932
I don't know why it's easier to drink
and sleep on the couch than in bed.
4
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,058
But it is.
5
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:16,767
‐ Go ahead, Terry.
6
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,769
I'm just using the peace and quiet
to re‐catalogue
7
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,437
all 10,000 data spikes.
8
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:21,730
It's so relaxing.
9
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,025
‐ Terry, Korvo!
10
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,069
Jesse got eyeliner
all over my holocron,
11
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:27,903
and now it won't work!
12
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,988
‐ I'm experimenting
with eyebrows!
13
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,865
‐ Stop judging us
with your facial hair!
14
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,743
‐ What on Gorb's Grey Grible
is going on here!?
15
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,831
‐ ...and a landing strip
like Staci K!
16
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,542
‐ Shut up!
Why aren't you at school?
17
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,168
‐ Double duh,
school's closed.
18
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,419
‐ Oh great,
what is it this time?
19
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,004
Another one of
their meaningless holidays
20
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:48,048
like Apple Pie Day
or Yom Kapper?
21
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,634
‐ No, it's summer. We learned
about it last year, remember?
22
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:51,802
The whole ice lava thing?
23
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:52,594
‐ No, what?
24
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,638
‐ I guess we'll just have
to stomach one extra day
25
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,431
of you two taking up
our adult space.
26
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,433
Probably better than you
being molested at that school.
27
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,977
‐ Summer break's
three months long.
28
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,311
Aw man.
29
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,605
‐ Three months?
That's like one 90 Day Fiancé!
30
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,400
‐ Yeah, and you better not be riding
our crack like this the whole time.
31
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,652
Summer is when we get to do
anything we want.
32
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,654
‐ Like a screaming competition.
‐ Go!
33
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:15,576
‐ This summer thing is not going
to work for me, Terry.
34
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,619
It's worse than the nightmare
on Helms Street,
35
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,955
which is what they call the time
a Port‐a‐Potty emptying truck
36
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,665
tipped over
on Ed Helms' private drive.
37
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,666
‐ Such a waste of poop.
38
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,209
‐ I don't want
the replicants at home!
39
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,794
I can't take three months
of this, Terry!
40
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,462
I like them for 45 minutes
in the morning
41
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,298
and maybe a couple of hours
at night, tops.
42
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,049
‐ Well, we obviously have
to kill the replicants.
43
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,510
‐ It does make the most sense.
We can always grow new ones.
44
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,679
Let's do it quick,
before we get too attached to these.
45
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,847
‐ What are we talkin', poison?
46
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,056
Put 'em in a bag
and throw them in a quarry?
47
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,684
‐ I was thinking we could maybe
just shave some glass into their food.
48
00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,728
‐ I could use my pillow as a silencer
and shoot them in their sleep?
49
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,188
Right in their fuckin' face.
50
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:47,232
‐ Or use the pillow
for a good old‐fashioned smothering.
51
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,067
Just like the ones we see
on TV and movies, Terry.
52
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:52,196
‐ Looks like the Solar Opposites
are killing their replicants!
53
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,364
‐ Um, excuse me.
Hi, Terry. Korvo.
54
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,618
I couldn't help but overhear you debating
different ways to kill your children.
55
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,577
‐ That is correct.
‐ Mind your own business,
56
00:01:58,577 --> 00:01:59,578
you old bowl of soup.
57
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,997
‐ Why don't you just send them
to summer camp?
58
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,209
‐ Pretend we don't know anything
and walk us through it.
59
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:07,961
‐ Thank God
this camp thing came up.
60
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,005
Jesse and I were just about
to kill you guys.
61
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,965
‐ What? We were about
to kill you guys too!
62
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,218
‐ That is so funny.
Great minds think alike!
63
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,012
Camp! Camp! Camp!
64
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,722
Hey! It's a camp thing!
65
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:22,184
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
66
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,685
Until the asteroid hit.
67
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,356
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
68
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,399
and escaped into, uh, the space,
69
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,818
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
70
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,447
We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
71
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,157
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
72
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,951
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
73
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,370
This is‐‐ this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
74
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,746
This is ridiculous.
75
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:44,665
I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.
76
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,415
People are stupid.
77
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,376
I don't understand
why people like daylight so much.
78
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,169
It's so loud
when it hits your skin.
79
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,264
Ooh, ooh, camp sounds amazing.
80
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,974
I'm excited to use
my bounty hunting skills
81
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,184
to hunt down and torture those
who have captured the flag.
82
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,478
‐ And I'm excited
for a sexual awakening.
83
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:09,189
I heard last year Julia Howland
went to camp a girl
84
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,440
and came back a woman.
85
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,150
But then it turned out
it actually was a woman
86
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,194
and they never found Julia's body.
87
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:14,820
Crazy, huh?
88
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:17,990
‐ Well, I'm excited to perform something
from Angels in America on talent night.
89
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,409
I took out all the gay stuff
and doubled the angels.
90
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:21,910
‐ You're not going to camp, Terry!
91
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,371
The whole point is that
we're gonna have the house to ourselves.
92
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,831
Are you still Tiki drunk?
93
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:26,874
‐ No.
94
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,041
‐ Terry, t‐take your next left.
95
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,086
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
96
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,094
‐ This is camp?
97
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,345
‐ No, don't be dumb.
98
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,722
It's much, much deeper
in the woods.
99
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,974
‐ Okay, guys,
we parked by trees.
100
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:49,688
‐ Halt. This... is camp.
101
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,898
Goodbye, we're leaving. Good luck.
102
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,566
‐ Wha‐‐ it‐it looks the same
as where we parked.
103
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,693
‐ Yeah, this just feels like
the regular old woods.
104
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:55,527
Where's camp?
105
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,906
‐ We talked to our creepy, bitchy neighbor
for almost five minutes about this,
106
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,283
so I know for sure
that this is camp.
107
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,285
We leave you here
for two or three weeks,
108
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,787
and you learn to swim or some shit,
and then we come pick you up.
109
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:06,622
The end.
110
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:07,748
‐ Done and done.
‐ Cool, works for me.
111
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,750
‐ We'll visit over parents' weekend.
Okay, bye.
112
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,044
‐ No, we won't. Terry, are you sure
the car is this way?
113
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,254
‐ I took four units of pathfinding
at the academy
114
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,340
to prepare for life
on dangerous alien worlds.
115
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,133
I think I can walk us
out of the woods.
116
00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:23,263
‐ What the fuck, Terry?
Just admit it, we're lost!
117
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,556
‐ It's just up here, I promise.
118
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:27,392
‐ Camp sucks, there's not even
a flag to capture.
119
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,895
‐ Hey, how long does it take
to sexually awaken?
120
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:33,273
I whittled a boyfriend to grind on,
you know, for when it happens.
121
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,692
This is Nate Jacobs.
We met at his bark‐mitzvah.
122
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,444
‐ Can we just go home?
‐ Yes.
123
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,487
Except we're lost.
‐ I knew it!
124
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,989
All because you couldn't stop drinking
those stupid Tiki drinks.
125
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,867
‐ They're not stupid! I find my way
out of the woods better when I'm drunk.
126
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,453
You ever even had any of these?
This one's from a coconut.
127
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,371
‐ Aw!
128
00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:49,248
‐ How can we possibly be lost?
129
00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:52,209
We have access to the most sophisticated
tracking equipment in the quadrant.
130
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,377
‐ I left it in the car, okay.
131
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,128
‐ We're going to be trapped here
until we die,
132
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,173
and I'll never get to have
a 500 Days of Summer quirky romance
133
00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,675
with a manic pixie dream boy!
134
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:02,261
‐ Everybody calm down.
I'm an expert trailblazer.
135
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,096
We just have to follow
the dimmest star,
136
00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:06,181
it'll always lead
directly South.
137
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,061
All the stars are dim
on this stupid planet!
138
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,521
‐ Why is there
a branch through my shoulder?
139
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,690
‐ Because you said
if we didn't eat soon
140
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,025
you were going to ram a branch
through your shoulder.
141
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,026
‐ And that was six weeks ago.
142
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:20,070
‐ Oh right, yeah,
I guess I'm in shock.
143
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,868
‐ There's no question anymore,
we have a serial killer on our hands.
144
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,703
‐ Whoa, we're going straight
to judging people
145
00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:29,621
just because of five
identical murders?
146
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:30,747
‐ I'm not convinced.
147
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,165
I still think a cricket did it.
148
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,000
‐ A cricket?
149
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,793
Could a cricket kill
five random men,
150
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,253
surgically remove their organs,
151
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,589
and place their corpses
in the shape of a winky face?
152
00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:39,840
‐ Have you seen Pinocchio?
153
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,800
‐ Yeah. Who knows
what they could accomplish
154
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,177
if they put their minds
to murdering.
155
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,303
Or worse, their legs.
156
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,346
‐ Ooh, what if it's
two crickets working together?
157
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,724
‐ Or one original homicidal cricket
158
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:49,850
and then a copy cricket.
159
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,352
‐ Can I just throw out there
that we probably just have
160
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,937
one regular human murderer
161
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:56,064
and not two
genius‐level killer crickets.
162
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,858
‐ You're letting
your imagination run wild.
163
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,904
You're not an executive story editor
on the hit FOX drama Bones anymore.
164
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,113
This is real life.
165
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,032
‐ These are real people
we're talking about,
166
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:08,243
not characters played by
the eminently watchable Emily Deschanel.
167
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,661
Are you even listening to me?
168
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,663
‐ No, if there's one thing
I learned on Bones,
169
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,166
it's never get between Boreanaz
and second dinner.
170
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:16,877
go with your gut.
171
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,921
And my gut says
we gotta move fast.
172
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,466
‐ Nate! Mwah! Mwah!
173
00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:24,426
Nate, you're back. I missed you.
174
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,303
Oh! Nate!
Not in front of my family.
175
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,138
‐ We're back where we started?
‐ Are we gonna die out here?
176
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,264
‐ Wait, I can't die yet!
177
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,350
We haven't even finished
our camp story arc.
178
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,476
What happens with all that?
179
00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:34,478
‐ That's not how life works,
we're not on TV.
180
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,021
We're starving to death
in the woods.
181
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,357
We don't have time to learn
the value of sharing or whatever.
182
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:40,817
‐ So now instead of camp,
it's just a lost in the woods story?
183
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,444
‐ Would you stop trying
to make it a story?
184
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,029
‐ We are lost
in the woods, though!
185
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,114
‐ Not for long,
we have one more option.
186
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:49,493
It's typically reserved to survive
the most barren, inhospitable planets,
187
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:51,662
but desperate times
call for desperate measures.
188
00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,038
Yumyulack, it's time.
189
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:53,747
‐ Ohh!
‐ Are you sure?
190
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,998
‐ We're dying, we have to.
191
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,542
‐ Uhh... what are you
talking about?
192
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,168
‐ The Emergency Urbanizer.
193
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,545
It's a life raft for the land.
194
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,922
‐ We only have one of these,
we can never do it again.
195
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,841
‐ Quit wasting time, Yumyulack.
We all know the stakes.
196
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:06,218
They've been tapped multiple times.
Just do it.
197
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:16,186
♪ "Rhapsody in Blue"
by George Gershwin playing ♪
198
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,168
The seven
on that scrap of paper,
199
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:40,085
it's a clue.
200
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:43,172
Our guy must live in Sector 7.
I can feel it in my bones.
201
00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:44,631
Episode 21, never aired.
202
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,341
Pre‐empted by the killing
of Bin Laden.
203
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,719
Good episode. Bobby Cannavale
guest starred as a pimp.
204
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:50,554
‐ Wow, I didn't know
crickets could use paper.
205
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,763
You see how smart
they are?
206
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:54,808
♪ tense music playing ♪
207
00:07:56,894 --> 00:08:00,063
‐ Bingo. Somebody killed
some shit up in this piece.
208
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,445
‐ Freeze! Get him! Get him!
209
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:07,029
‐ Ah!
210
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:09,823
‐ He was not!
211
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,742
Yuh‐huh, he was
totally reaching for something!
212
00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:12,951
We saved your life!
213
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,369
‐ A "thank you" would be nice.
214
00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:15,913
‐ We could have
brought him in alive!
215
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:18,874
‐ Wait, whoa, whoa. Wait, whoa!
We didn't discuss that at all.
216
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:20,751
We thought we were supposed
to staple him immediately.
217
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,586
‐ You should be happy
your theory was right.
218
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:25,506
It wasn't a cricket after all.
And we got him!
219
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,341
Woo‐hoo‐hoo!
Oh yeah! Ha ha ha!
220
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,760
‐ Who knows where the car is
at this point?
221
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,053
It could take us days to find.
222
00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:33,430
‐ Holy guacamole!
223
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,806
What is this place?
224
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:35,807
‐ It's complicated.
225
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,601
There's a tourist video station
over there.
226
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,894
Come on,
we'll go watch.
227
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,563
‐ Howdy, I'm wood actor
Wooden Harrelson,
228
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,065
star of the upcoming film
229
00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:45,692
Escape from the Pokerverse.
230
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,861
Welcome to The Wooden City,
231
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,114
the most exciting,
actually growing city in the world.
232
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,659
The Wooden City
is just like a regular city,
233
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,827
except algorithmically generated
234
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,955
from materials available
in the woods.
235
00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,206
Except the animals.
236
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,458
They are real,
and they will kill you.
237
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:04,920
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have an 8:30 at Dorsia.
238
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,214
That's right, it's not
all forest puns here.
239
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,591
‐ we're not lost
in the woods anymore.
240
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:12,469
we're now lost
in a giant big wooden city.
241
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,265
We just need to make
enough money to rent a car
242
00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:18,642
so we can drive back
to where we parked our actual car
243
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:19,685
and get the hell out of here.
244
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:21,895
‐ Let's split up and all get jobs.
That way, it'll go faster.
245
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,980
‐ But shouldn't we stick together?
246
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,440
‐ No. It would be faster
if we all went and got our own jobs
247
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,025
and made money
as fast as possible.
248
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,235
This isn't a game.
It's survival.
249
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,486
‐ Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
250
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:32,573
Now the story isn't about camp
or being lost in the woods,
251
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,533
it's about surviving
in the big city?
252
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,285
‐ Yeah, or it could be
a Godzilla story,
253
00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:37,411
so keep your eyes... open.
254
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:38,954
‐ Okay, I have a ton of notes.
255
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,539
‐ This is gonna be awesome!
256
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:41,707
We're in the big city!
257
00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:43,125
You can be anything
258
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:45,460
super hero, politician, orthodontist.
259
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,004
I'm going to be
a famous ten‐figure actor
260
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:49,214
and then maybe retire
as a two‐figure voice actor.
261
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,008
Come on, kid, what have you
always wanted to be?
262
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:53,302
What's your craziest dream?
Spill it, we're all havin' fun.
263
00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,637
‐ I have always wanted
to work in fashion.
264
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,557
‐ I'm gonna work in finance because
I've always wanted to be a shit head.
265
00:09:58,557 --> 00:09:59,600
‐ That a boy, dream big.
266
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,476
Okay, you all have
your big city stories now.
267
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:04,563
Remember, we just need money
to get a car to get to our car.
268
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:05,522
‐ What are you gonna do?
269
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:08,483
‐ I‐I don't know yet, so I'm just gonna
walk around and look for a sign.
270
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:11,361
Everyone, meet back here tonight
with all the money we've earned!
271
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:21,538
‐ I wanted oak, not maple,
you stupid birch.
272
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,582
‐
‐ Ah! Help me!
273
00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:27,127
‐ You're fired. Have a...
carried‐off‐by‐a‐hawk life.
274
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,212
You!
‐ Me?
275
00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:29,588
‐ You're my assistant now.
276
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:31,381
Pick up those acorns
and follow me.
277
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:32,007
Oh my god!
278
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:33,509
Stop it! Ah!
279
00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:38,972
‐ Five million? I don't get outta bed
for under ten, you stinky cock smoocher!
280
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,351
‐ Wow, that is, without a doubt,
the coolest guy I've ever seen.
281
00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:43,685
Even the statues are cool.
282
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,822
‐ Ten million? I don't get
outta bed for under five!
283
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,367
Wait, no.
Ten million I will humbly accept.
284
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,829
Hey, dickless!
285
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,998
You the new kid?
‐ Oh, uh‐‐ yeah? Yes.
286
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:08,544
‐ Then pick up a fucking phone
and make me some fucking money!
287
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,561
‐ Ayy, relax, kid. You done good.
You done real good.
288
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:27,437
Why don't you come down
and see me at the cab stand.
289
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,106
We could use a kid like you.
290
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:31,567
Ever since I could remember,
291
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,360
I wanted to be a gangster.
292
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,612
♪ swing music playing ♪
293
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,701
Uh, ahem. Hello‐‐
294
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,120
Ah!
295
00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:49,168
‐ Aah! Oh man. He was like,
"You shot me, bro!"
296
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:51,712
‐ Ha ha ha, yeah.
'Cause you shot him!
297
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:54,548
That was so classic.
Boom boom, you're dead.
298
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,216
‐ Yo, what's up your ass, hombre?
299
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,634
You're a Wall hero again.
300
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,595
And just in time for Cherie Day!
301
00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:00,971
‐ Something doesn't feel right.
302
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,764
‐ What doesn't feel right
is you haven't had
303
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,017
enough fermented piss
to celebrate!
304
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:12,232
‐ Oh, I, um, just realized I left
my favorite, uh, piss mug at home.
305
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,609
‐ Aw, man, go get it!
306
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:21,200
‐ ♪ They say love is blind
when you're of a hive mind ♪
307
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,410
♪ But it's hard
to find that honey ♪
308
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,370
♪ Since our numbers
have declined ♪
309
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,705
‐ Next.
310
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,415
‐ You mean,
like next round of auditions?
311
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,958
Typically, that's called
a callback.
312
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,794
Or do you mean next step
in the process which is what, wardrobe?
313
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,880
That's perfect because I have
some thoughts on bees and wasps‐‐
314
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,298
‐ No. I meant next audition.
315
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,133
You were wildly talentless
in every way
316
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:39,843
except making us feel
embarrassed for you.
317
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,512
‐ Are you serious?
318
00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:44,598
I'm embarrassed for you
that you can't see generational talent
319
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,600
when it's right in front
of your fuckin' faces!
320
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,436
‐ Sweetie, the only chance you have
at being referred to as "talent"
321
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,979
is if you become
a prostitute.
322
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:53,899
‐ A prostitute!? Ha! I would never.
Do you hear me? Never!
323
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:56,860
It's not a blow job, sweetie.
It's a blow career.
324
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,196
You can't just start at the top,
you gotta, you‐‐ Hey!
325
00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,656
You wanna have
some fun, sugar?
326
00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:02,866
‐ How much?
‐ Uhh, ten grand an hour.
327
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:03,825
‐ No fuckin' way‐‐
328
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:05,619
‐ Fine, fine, fine, fine.
Five hundred for two hours.
329
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,412
Hands and mouth only.
Best and final.
330
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,666
A‐a hundred an hour.
Buy two, get six free. No holes barred.
331
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,794
A‐a‐alright, okay.
Four bucks, clock's off,
332
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,587
you can pull my teeth out,
bang me to Bethlehem,
333
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:16,296
and leave me for dead.
334
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,549
My one request is that
you get me drunk first.
335
00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:20,175
Or I can do it sober, whatever.
336
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,887
I guess that's just life
in the big city,
337
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,431
would be the perfect line
to say to launch into a montage.
338
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,475
Oh! Oh my god,
it's happening!
339
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,521
♪ Duran Duran's
"Hungry Like the Wolf" playing ♪
340
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:35,899
‐ ♪ Darken the city,
night is a wire ♪
341
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,901
♪ Steam in the subway ♪
342
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:43,532
♪ Do do do do do do do
do‐do do‐do‐do do‐do ♪
343
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,325
‐ Nope, no, maybe,
nope, no,
344
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,244
too hippy, no,
needs more brow, no,
345
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:48,954
kill yourself, kill me,
this is brilliant,
346
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:51,415
get cancer, I love you,
die in World War Z.
347
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:53,083
‐ Jesse, I don't know what to say.
348
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,626
Sorry for how things unfolded.
349
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,795
If you would just let me explain.
350
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:57,838
I'm ruined.
351
00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:00,757
‐ Have yourself
a slapped‐in‐the‐face evening.
352
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,513
‐ Fifty million bottles
of champagne
353
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,016
for our $50 million man!
354
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:12,644
‐ Fifty million,
that's what I'm talking about!
355
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:16,690
‐ ♪ And I'm hungry like the wolf ♪
356
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,233
‐ Get out.
357
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:25,365
All I wanted to do was get money
to get a car to get to our car.
358
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,533
Seemed so simple.
359
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,284
Aah!
360
00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:30,913
‐ And of course,
you couldn't be bothered
361
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,248
to attend
Yumyulack Junior's christening
362
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:36,543
'cause you're too busy putting your nose
in a pile of cocaine
363
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,171
and your dick in a pile
of crack cocaine!
364
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:41,173
‐ Okay, what if I did fuck
crack cocaine?
365
00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:42,508
What difference would it make?
366
00:14:42,508 --> 00:14:45,219
You don't know anything
about me anymore, Cindeen!
367
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:48,597
‐
You're about to be divorced!
368
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,849
‐ I wish I'd never bought
this wooden penis!
369
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,144
Trip, the FBI's here
but we're fine, right?
370
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:55,812
Nothing to worry about? Trip?
371
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:57,940
‐ Yeah, yeah, we're fine, bud.
Don't even worry about it.
372
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,900
Let 'em do their thing.
It's all good. All good.
373
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,444
‐ Oh my god, Trip!
374
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,362
Oh!
375
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,615
Alright, everyone. Don't panic.
376
00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:08,909
We're gonna beat this.
We're gonna be just fine.
377
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,957
‐ ♪ Scent and a sound ♪
378
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:16,834
♪ I'm lost and I'm found ♪
379
00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:20,838
♪ And I'm hungry like the wolf ♪
380
00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:22,381
♪ Strut on a line ♪
381
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:27,886
♪ I howl and I whine
I'm after you ♪
382
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,055
♪ Mouth is alive ♪
383
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:43,819
‐ Ah!
384
00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:46,572
Son of a bitch!
385
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:49,950
Ah, fuck!
386
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,496
Oh!
387
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:57,040
I'm trying to do a mafia story,
you piece of shit!
388
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:12,181
♪ foreboding music playing ♪
389
00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:31,700
‐ Freeze!
390
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,785
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
391
00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:32,928
♪ light jazz music playing ♪
392
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:36,473
‐ Oh, I simply adore
your gown, Jesse.
393
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,309
You truly are the queen
of Wooden City fashion.
394
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:41,895
‐ Whatever.
‐ Congrats on all your success.
395
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,730
‐ Who gives a shit.
396
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:48,193
You guys came?
It's good to see you.
397
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,403
How's everyone doing?
398
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:50,821
‐ Me? Oh I'm doing great.
399
00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:52,990
Started a big hedge fund,
got an office at the top
400
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:54,116
of the Squirrel Trade Center,
401
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,284
played by the rules.
402
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,870
Nice guys finish first.
What else can I say?
403
00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:59,705
No major issues personally
or professionally.
404
00:17:59,705 --> 00:18:00,289
‐ Ditto for me.
405
00:18:00,289 --> 00:18:03,208
Built myself a sweet little career
in the customer service industry.
406
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,169
I'm my own boss
so I set my own hours,
407
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,587
come and go as I please.
408
00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,881
Taking some risks
with my attire, so be it.
409
00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:10,299
Who the fuck
are you to judge?
410
00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:11,967
‐ No judgments here.
For I am‐‐
411
00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:13,510
‐ Bleeding?
‐ Bleeding? No, this is,
412
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,220
uh, party sauce.
413
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:17,431
I'm doing great also,
so don't question me.
414
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:19,141
Fell in with
a great group of guys.
415
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,018
We mostly do, uh, construction.
416
00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:23,312
My best friends are Jimmy The Trigger,
Ronny Kills‐A‐Lot,
417
00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:24,813
and Guido The Stone Cold Psycho.
418
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,732
‐ I'm very happy for you all.
419
00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:28,400
Because, as you can see,
420
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,777
I've reached the pinnacle
of the fashion world.
421
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,739
All my dreams have come true,
and I've never been happier.
422
00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:35,949
I love it here.
End of story.
423
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:39,328
‐ Well, I think
I'm gonna take off.
424
00:18:39,328 --> 00:18:41,163
‐ Yeah, I have
a really important sales cum‐‐
425
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,331
I mean, conference balls‐‐
426
00:18:42,331 --> 00:18:43,498
no, I mean a team skeeting‐‐
427
00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:44,791
uh, shaftholder meeting‐‐
428
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,418
I mean,
my shattered ass is healing‐‐
429
00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:48,045
Bleh, I'm shattering
the glass ceiling.
430
00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:49,129
‐ I should go as well.
431
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,215
I'm pretty heavily party saucing.
432
00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:52,132
L‐losing strength‐‐
433
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,008
‐ Wait! Guys!
434
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:56,553
The truth is, it may look like
I'm doing well on the outside,
435
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,388
but I'm very lonely.
436
00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,098
I miss you guys.
437
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:02,768
I know we're all deep
into our separate lives,
438
00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:05,270
but I'd like it
if you could stay.
439
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,313
I mean,
just for a little.
440
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,232
‐ To be honest, I flew
too close to the sun.
441
00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:10,692
By which I mean
committed several financial crimes.
442
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:13,320
Plus I got divorced,
company got raided by the FBI,
443
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,155
and all my coworkers
killed themselves.
444
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:15,989
‐ I'm hurt real bad.
445
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,742
I just wanted to be a gangster,
but I kept getting attacked by wolves.
446
00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,078
‐ I know this may come as a huge shock,
but I haven't been honest either.
447
00:19:21,078 --> 00:19:24,456
I'm a sex worker, and I let
lonely tree men pay to fuck me.
448
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:27,251
‐ We got so wrapped up
surviving in the big city,
449
00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:29,545
getting sucked into our new lives,
450
00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:32,548
but are any of us
really happy?
451
00:19:32,548 --> 00:19:35,342
‐ I was happier when we were
just a regular alien team.
452
00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,594
‐ Not just a team,
a team family.
453
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,012
‐
454
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,014
making enough money
to get back to our old life
455
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,683
so we could all be
together again.
456
00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:45,352
We've picked our path,
and we can never go home again.
457
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,437
‐ Um, guys?
The city's on fire.
458
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:50,023
Jesus Christ,
it's that flaming wolf that ran off!
459
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,650
We have to go home!
‐ Wait a second.
460
00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:53,652
Is that our car?
Way out there in the distance?
461
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:54,987
‐ Quick, before we burn alive!
462
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:14,882
‐ Bye, camp! I'll miss you!
See you next summer!
463
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,388
‐ Ah. This is nice.
464
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,974
I may have overreacted
to you two being home from school.
465
00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:26,768
Sometimes it's not awful
to share the house with you.
466
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,145
‐ Yes, we did it!
467
00:20:28,145 --> 00:20:30,189
The Solar Opposites emotionally arced!
468
00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:31,398
Now that's a‐story!
469
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,482
‐ Fuck you. No, it wasn't.
470
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,692
No, wait, w‐we did arc!
471
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:34,776
I‐I'm proud of all of us.
472
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,820
‐ Just in time because we go back
to school tomorrow.
473
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,488
‐ Oh really?
Th‐th‐that's a bummer.
474
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:42,159
‐ See, I knew you'd come around
and want to spend more time with us!
475
00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:44,745
‐ Oh no, it's a bummer because I thought
summer was two more months
476
00:20:44,745 --> 00:20:45,829
and I already poisoned you.
477
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:47,581
‐ Ah, geez, I'll get the antidote.
478
00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:50,209
The mysterious wooden city
that recently appeared out of nowhere
479
00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:52,002
tragically burned
to the ground last week
480
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,296
in a fire
experts are calling inevitable.
481
00:20:54,296 --> 00:20:56,673
‐ I gotta be honest, I feel bad
The Wooden City is gone.
482
00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,258
They had a really good Arby's...
483
00:20:58,258 --> 00:20:59,760
to get fucked in.
484
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,846
‐ It's for the best. The Wooden City
turned us into our worst selves.
485
00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:04,097
We're lucky it's gone forever‐‐
486
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,015
But miraculously,
487
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,392
it has grown back
stronger than ever before
488
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:10,103
and will now be hosting
the Summer Olympics in 2028.
489
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,104
‐ Wait, what'd they say?
‐ Nothing!
490
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,481
Nobody's going back
to The Wooden City.
491
00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:14,107
Now go to your room
and take your antidote!
492
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:15,317
Honestly,
it might be too late.
493
00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:22,074
‐ Ah. It's so peaceful
here in the woods.
494
00:21:22,074 --> 00:21:24,034
‐ Finally, some peace and quiet.
Am I right?
495
00:21:24,034 --> 00:21:26,912
‐ You know, without summer break,
we would have never found this condo.
496
00:21:27,788 --> 00:21:29,790
‐ Sometimes life finds a way.
497
00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:32,835
‐ Shit, a moose!
498
00:21:32,835 --> 00:21:34,920
Terry, run!
‐ It's got me! It hurts! No!
499
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:37,548
‐ Oh Jesus, fuck,
it bit my leg off!
500
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,260
Oh, it stinks!
501
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:42,886
You never really know
how bad moose stinks!
502
00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,721
Oh, it stinks like shit!
503
00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:48,892
♪ theme music playing ♪